You say I’m angry like my mama
You say I need to work on that
But what you’re really saying is
You don’t see what there is for me
To be so mad about
You’re confused why I would up and leave
You say I’m impossible to appease
Like your half-hearted sorries ought to have some impact
Against the fact
That my mama’s mama says real women stay
Real women obey
And it was in my mama’s head so deep
That even a broken knee
Didn’t make her leave
Didn’t make her leave, didn’t make her tell
And when she finally told they gave her hell
And I was right there to lay the blame
Because she was angry
And I was too young to understand the way
The system is built to make us stay
And my daddy went in private to commiserate
With the man who made me black and blue because
She’s just like her mama
That’s what these women like
They’re crazy and they want to fight
Never realizing that what we’re fighting for is you
That all we wanted was to see it through
To hold it all together and prove
That the love we had was real and true
And we are more than what they told us we could be
That we can learn together to be free
Instead you say you’re afraid of me
But if you’re really so scared
Why did you help yourself to my body
When I wasn’t there
And then tell me that I don’t know enough to be allowed to say
That it wasn’t right, it was not okay
But the truth rises up in me on a tide of rage
And you won’t even meet my gaze
Because the problem is
I’m angry like my mama
And so I’m not a real woman, to my grandmother’s shame
And all her judgment and all her praying
Won’t save me from the eternal flames
Of my own voice singing deep within
Crying burn this down and start again
Very powerful ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you 💕
Hello Queen of Elves,
I’m Paul from Belgium.
This is such a strong and moving poem. Your description of the domestic abuse suffered by mother and daughter is subtle yet poignant.
I only wonder why the guilt of not being ‘a real woman’ is still there. Is the grandma really strong? Her impact seems to have been stronger than the mother’s.
Anyway, I like your work and will continue to read it with pleasure and awe.
Have a nice day,
Thank you for reading and commenting! That line is more about denouncing the way female-bodied people are socialized in my culture. It’s about rejecting my upbringing and claiming my own identity outside societal or familial expectations. Letting go of who I was told I should be in favor of who I truly am.
Hope that makes sense 🙂
Also, my grandmother is simply more deeply entrenched in the patriarchal system, to the point that she actively works to keep it in place and keep other women oppressed. It’s not her fault, but we are all perpetrating it if we aren’t actively working to unlearn it.
What this says to me that you may be like your momma but you are also an Independent woman…..which may be what your momma wasnt in her own relationship…and you made a vow to yourself that wasn’t going to be you
Thanks for reading Andy 🙂 my mother definitely became an independent woman eventually. I wish I had had the clarity to make that kind of vow to myself, but it’s really been much more of a process to recognize what I’m doing and why I’m doing it—and to try to unlearn it. Writing this poem is part of that process.
Wow! Very powerful!
Thank you Jose!
Wow! That’s powerful!
Thanks Jack. Felt powerful to write!
It’s good to be angry sometimes!
I completely agree 🙂
Powerful poem. I note ‘ With the man who made me black and blue’, and I hope with your excellent and intricate fusion between past and present tense, that this is in the past and that you continue healing.
Thank you Michael. Yes, in the distant past now. I wish healing for you too! 💕
Domestic violence has such a long and lasting effect on those directly an indirectly involved.
Very powerful your words speak volumes for many women.
Thank you Richard
Powerful. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reading Trevor 🙂
Wow! That’s learning life’s lessons the hard way, but you broke away and started over. Change is good and creating processes so you don’t repeat the past. Now you are much stronger.